Journey of BABY

My Journey through Infertility

Infertility… Infertility means not being able to get pregnant after one year of trying.

Wow, I never thought that word would show up in my vocabulary. I never dreamed I would have to go to the doctor because of that word. That word never crossed my mind when we first started trying to conceive. That word haunts me EVERY. SINGLE. MONTH.

In January of 2018, my husband threw away my birth control and said “Let’s do this” and I started to cry. I was so excited because being a mommy is all I’ve wanted to be since I was younger. I was aware that sometimes people have trouble conceiving and knew of couples that had, but for some reason I thought since we were a couple who dedicated our lives to God fully that we would never be one of those couples. Which is silly because it rains on the just and the unjust.

Now our journey truly hasn’t been that long, two years of now, but it wasn’t something I expect AT ALL. There have been many tears, smiles, heartbreak, moments of joy, moments of anger, prayer, trust, faith, and lots of unanswered questions.

Bless those mamas who struggle for years, you are truly a strong women and inspiration to all of us who are going through your same struggle. To those who have lost a baby anytime during your pregnancy, YOU are the strongest person and my heart goes out to you!

I started researching more about the struggle of infertility and learned that 7.4 million women, that’s 10% of women, have trouble conceiving. 60% of women get pregnant within 6 months of trying… that’s a huge percentage! That scares me because I’m now the 40% of those who didn’t get pregnant within 6 months.

I started making post about this journey about a year ago and have just kept them in my drafts. I wasn’t ready for everyone to know or for the world to see how I was really feeling behind the smile. Why post them now?! Well.. I love to talk and I have learned as time goes on that talking to others and opening up about my feelings has made this a little easier. Instead of letting the negative thoughts and questions consume my mind, I will either get them out by writing about them or talking to someone. So maybe.. just maybe I could help someone else or maybe you can help me!

God’s Got This,

Hollie

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